Saturday, November 8, 2008


From what I hear, relationships are supposed to be 50/50. But lately I've been wondering if that's even possible. Seems like relationships are 70/30, 60/40, and even 80/20. I know I'm an outsider looking in, and only the people involved know the real arrangement of their relationship. But from outside appearances, it's not looking too even. It looks like one person gets to call the shots.

Yesterday, I watched a program where the couple was separating. Though the husband had left, he still came by the house everyday to spend time with his two young children (a boy, age 7 and a girl, age 4). He and the wife helped the children with homework, fed them dinner, gave them baths, and put them to bed. Then the husband went back to his apartment.

The children were acting out. The little boy wanted to know why his dad left. And you could tell that the wife really wanted the husband to come back to try and make it work. This arrangement had gone on for eight months, and the fate of the relationship was in his hands. Eventually he stated that he didn't want to work things out. And that was that.

As much as I advocate love and relationships, I really wonder if there can be a true balance. Though the example I gave is about divorce, what about during a relationship? Can't people compromise and come to a resolution that works for both parties? Can't both parties make decisions that meet both their needs? Why is that so hard?

Honestly, sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. I would love to have a 50/50 relationship. But I don't want a scenario where I 'give up so much of me to be with you'. Or 'you make all the decisions and I follow suite'. Been there, done that, don't want to do that no mo'.

No comments: