Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Big Girl Words

What do you do when you want something? Do you ask specifically for what you want? Do you hint at it?

Many years ago, my brother asked me to babysit his daughter, my niece. I was in Germany when she was born, so I didn't see/meet her until she was almost two years old. I felt that that would give me a good chance to get to know her better, so I agreed.

He dropped her off at my grandparent's house since it was a familiar place for her. I figured that we'd watch Barney and play some games.

We never watched the full Barney episode. She cried the whole time.

I tried to get her to stop crying by waving candy and toys in front of her. That didn't work. After a while, I was getting pretty frustrated. I didn't know how to make her stop. At one point she flailed around on the floor, yelling that she wanted her daddy. I told her that I wanted him, too!

I took her into the dining room. Her cries died down when she saw a bowl of fruit on the table. She pointed at it (the bowl) and made this whimpering sound. I looked at the bowl and asked her what she wanted, but she kept pointing and making the sound.

I told her that she would have to use her big girl words and tell me which piece of fruit she wanted, but she wouldn't. She kept pointing and whimpering instead.

Finally, I took the bowl off of the table and brought it down to her level. I forgot which piece of fruit she picked, but she did stop crying/whimpering. She got what she wanted.

So do you whine and whimper or do you ask specifically for what you want? Do you use your big girl words?

Friday, March 6, 2009


A few months ago, I needed to buy a new shower curtain. Some of the hook holes had ripped on the old one, and the curtain was no longer hanging properly from the shower rod.

At the store, I found two that I really liked. They were reasonably priced and would match my teal-colored rugs and toilet seat cover. One had an imprint of the world and the other one had circles of various sizes and bluish/teal colors. I like globes and maps of the world, so I was leaning heavily towards getting that one. But there was a problem.

It was see-through. Totally transparent except for the world imprint. It was about $2 cheaper than the opaque circle curtain, so I was initially all for getting it. But I couldn't get past the world's transparency.

I kept thinking what if friends or relatives came over and really needed to use my one bathroom when I was in the shower? I didn't want them to see my kibbles and bits. Plus I didn't want a view of the bathroom when I was in the shower. I wanted to be in a separate world (no pun intended) where there were no distracting views of the toilet or sink. Just me, the water, the soap, and my thoughts.

I also kept thinking of the shower scene from the movie Psycho. So the transparency was a little disturbing. The thought of seeing someone walk into the bathroom while I was in the shower would be scary.

So as I stood in the store weighing my options, I chose the one that met ALL of my needs. My need for a curtain, my need for privacy, my need to keep water from landing on the floor, and my need to match my current rug and toilet seat cover.

I had to meet all of these needs at a reasonable price. So I chose the opaque circle shower curtain. As much as I wanted the world, I didn't pick it because it wouldn't meet ALL my needs.

That's the same way that I view relationships now. It has to meet my needs. Needs like honesty and consistency. Those MUST be met. I've compromised before and stayed in unhealthy relationships when those needs weren't met. Though I learned valuable lessons, I don't want to compromise like that again.

I don't need the world - just the truth and follow through. I've come around full circle.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

A Quest

It's been over a month since my last entry. I can't believe it's been that long. I was on a quest. A soul-searching quest on how to be a more authentic VADRMGRL.

For the last few weeks, I've been reading voraciously. I've read about 4.5 books in the past two weeks. I've also been writing in my notebooks and journals. I tell ya - writing does my mind, body, and soul good!

What do you do when you need to figure out some things? Do you talk to friends, do you write, do you take a trip somewhere? Let me know.