Love-- a virus for which there is no cure.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
A Love Supreme
What is your idea of a good/great relationship? Is it one in which both partners contribute to the entity of the relationship? Is it one in which one partner makes the majority of decisions? Tell me your ideas for a good/great relationship.
A few years ago, I heard the title of a jazz album that stirred my curiosity. The album was called A Love Supreme. It's by John Coltrane, a saxophonist from the 1960s. Now I've never heard any songs from the album. It was the album title itself that got me. I was curious as to what a Love Supreme would be.
There's no official description of it. It's an album title made up by a jazz artist. But I have my interpretation of what it could mean. The few people that heard my interpretation balked at me as if that was the most ridiculous thing they'd ever heard. Regardless of what other people say, I think a Love Supreme is possible. Here's my interpretation.
A Love Supreme would be a relationship in which you can:
A few years ago, I heard the title of a jazz album that stirred my curiosity. The album was called A Love Supreme. It's by John Coltrane, a saxophonist from the 1960s. Now I've never heard any songs from the album. It was the album title itself that got me. I was curious as to what a Love Supreme would be.
There's no official description of it. It's an album title made up by a jazz artist. But I have my interpretation of what it could mean. The few people that heard my interpretation balked at me as if that was the most ridiculous thing they'd ever heard. Regardless of what other people say, I think a Love Supreme is possible. Here's my interpretation.
A Love Supreme would be a relationship in which you can:
See and be seen,
Hear and be heard,
Know and be known,
Love and be loved.
See
This aspect of the relationship allows you to see the other person for who they really are. They are also able to see you for who you really are. You can see their inner beauty, kindness, and heart, and they'll see yours.
Hear
This aspect of the relationship allows you to hear what the other person is really saying. They are also able to hear what you say. For example, if you're arguing about one partner spending too much time away, you'll know that maybe what they're really saying is that they feel neglected.
Know
This aspect of the relationship allows you to know the other person. You'll know their likes and dislikes and possible reactions to given situations. They'll know the same about you. You'll know these things about each other because you've communicated and stated your boundaries.
Love
This aspect of the relationship allows you to love the person with all their faults. Nobody is perfect, so you accept their shortcomings, and they do the same for you. And you both love each other anyway, in spite of it all.
Please know that I'm not talking about the physical sense of seeing with eyes or hearing with ears. I'm talking beyond that. For example, one of my friends was told that she was beautiful on the outside as well as the inside. She was seen.
Now we know that relationships aren't easy, and that they take a lot of work from both partners. There will be disagreements, and you may not get along everyday. But I think that when you have these see, hear, know, and love ingredients, the relationship recipe will come out right. And that's when you have your Love Supreme...
Please know that I don't like these paragraphs squished together like this! The blog is doing this.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Santa Didn't Come To Town
I'm back from my New York birthday trip. I had a great time overall with a little bit of disappointment. That was because Santa Claus did not come to town. Let me tell you what happened.
On Sunday morning, I got up at 3 am. My train from DC to NY was leaving at 5:25 am, and I needed to make sure that I got to DC on time. I got to DC around 4:30 am, checked in, got on the train, and made it to NY by 8:45 am. Great! I stopped at Starbuck's for some hazelnut flavored hot chocolate and made my way to the photography studio. The photography workshop didn't begin until 10:30 am, so I had plenty of time to walk and take in the sights.
After about a 15-20 minute walk, I was at the studio. It was really nice inside, and my energy soared as I imagined all of the photo shoots taking place. A young lady came to the front desk to assist me. After a few minutes of checking the schedule for the workshop classroom, she stated that it had been cancelled. I thought that I was dreaming for a minute - thinking that I couldn't have possibly come from VA for a cancelled workshop in NY. But then I realized that was awake and that this was real. I was so disappointed. It truly was if Santa hadn't come to town (I referenced the photographer as Santa three blog entries ago).
She told me that she was very sorry. After I told her that it was my birthday, she tried to cheer me up by saying that there was a barbecue place nearby. I know that she was trying to be helpful, but I wanted to say that 'I'm from Texas, and that I wouldn't come to New York for some barbecue.' I didn't say that, though. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I had to walk away from the studio. I felt like Rudolph when they wouldn't let him play any reindeer games.
I walked out to the street and called a friend of mine to tell her what had happened. I felt much better after the conversation. Then I called my friend who was riding up from MD to meet me in NY. She was on her way, and we were still going to have a good day.
At this point, I really didn't know what to do. My friend wasn't going to be there for another four hours, and I wanted to do something until she arrived. So I walked into a hotel lobby to sit, make a few calls, and think about my next step (and warm up!) After talking to my mom, I noticed a guy walking into the hotel with a bag from a famous photography store in NY/US/worldwide. I had gone to this store earlier this year, but didn't know exactly where it was. I stopped him to ask where this store was located. He said that it was right around the corner. I was so excited! This time I felt like Rudolph guiding the sleigh.
I spent quite a while in the store. Eventually I left to wait at Penn Station for my friend. And we had a great day. I got my 'oh so rich and fattening' sage butter ravioli at the Dream Hotel, I saw Rockefeller Center and the Christmas tree, and I saw a great Cirque Du Soleil performance at Madison Square Garden near Broadway. I was back home in VA by 5:30 am on Dec 8th.
So even though I didn't get to see what I originally intended (the workshop), I had a great time. Turning 40 was great, and hanging out in the Big Apple was fun. It didn't go as planned, but it didn't go to waste. Who could ask for anything more?
On Sunday morning, I got up at 3 am. My train from DC to NY was leaving at 5:25 am, and I needed to make sure that I got to DC on time. I got to DC around 4:30 am, checked in, got on the train, and made it to NY by 8:45 am. Great! I stopped at Starbuck's for some hazelnut flavored hot chocolate and made my way to the photography studio. The photography workshop didn't begin until 10:30 am, so I had plenty of time to walk and take in the sights.
After about a 15-20 minute walk, I was at the studio. It was really nice inside, and my energy soared as I imagined all of the photo shoots taking place. A young lady came to the front desk to assist me. After a few minutes of checking the schedule for the workshop classroom, she stated that it had been cancelled. I thought that I was dreaming for a minute - thinking that I couldn't have possibly come from VA for a cancelled workshop in NY. But then I realized that was awake and that this was real. I was so disappointed. It truly was if Santa hadn't come to town (I referenced the photographer as Santa three blog entries ago).
She told me that she was very sorry. After I told her that it was my birthday, she tried to cheer me up by saying that there was a barbecue place nearby. I know that she was trying to be helpful, but I wanted to say that 'I'm from Texas, and that I wouldn't come to New York for some barbecue.' I didn't say that, though. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I had to walk away from the studio. I felt like Rudolph when they wouldn't let him play any reindeer games.
I walked out to the street and called a friend of mine to tell her what had happened. I felt much better after the conversation. Then I called my friend who was riding up from MD to meet me in NY. She was on her way, and we were still going to have a good day.
At this point, I really didn't know what to do. My friend wasn't going to be there for another four hours, and I wanted to do something until she arrived. So I walked into a hotel lobby to sit, make a few calls, and think about my next step (and warm up!) After talking to my mom, I noticed a guy walking into the hotel with a bag from a famous photography store in NY/US/worldwide. I had gone to this store earlier this year, but didn't know exactly where it was. I stopped him to ask where this store was located. He said that it was right around the corner. I was so excited! This time I felt like Rudolph guiding the sleigh.
I spent quite a while in the store. Eventually I left to wait at Penn Station for my friend. And we had a great day. I got my 'oh so rich and fattening' sage butter ravioli at the Dream Hotel, I saw Rockefeller Center and the Christmas tree, and I saw a great Cirque Du Soleil performance at Madison Square Garden near Broadway. I was back home in VA by 5:30 am on Dec 8th.
So even though I didn't get to see what I originally intended (the workshop), I had a great time. Turning 40 was great, and hanging out in the Big Apple was fun. It didn't go as planned, but it didn't go to waste. Who could ask for anything more?
Saturday, December 6, 2008
One More To Go
So here it is. One day until the BIG day. I'm feeling pretty calm and at ease. I'm still doing little dances here and there. I'm sure I'll do some dances tomorrow.
I've looked forward to 40 for a long time. In my mind, it's like a magical age where insecurity and fear will disappear from my life like the sand from the upper half of an hourglass. I know that that may not be true, but 40 holds the promise of something better. It holds the promise of being true to myself in every circumstance. It also holds the promise of really embracing life and all that it has to offer - with nothing holding me back. Except for one thing.
Remember a few entries ago how I stated that I had to let people go? The people that served no purpose or were bringing stress to my life? Remember that? Well, there's one more to let go.
This 'friend' has whispered in my ear that I can't do something. This 'friend' has stopped me from trying new things - telling me that I'll fail if I make the attempt. This 'friend' has been by my side, stopping me from taking the next step. This 'friend' has also fueled my indecisiveness. At this point, I'm ready to let it go. This 'friend' has been fear.
Now, I'm sure lots of us know this 'friend'. It's there, whether we need it or not. It's influential. It's seductive. You can take your life to the next level when you overcome it, or you can hold yourself back when you give in to it. But it's there - for better or for worse. Honestly, it's played quite a role in my life.
But I don't want fear to have such an influence anymore. The fact that I'm turning 40 has something to do with it. But the other fact is - I'm tired of it. I'm tired of how such a little word can have such a great impact. I'm tired of it being in my way. I'm tired of it jumping in when it's not wanted. I'm tired of it making guest appearances on the 'Virginia Dreamgirl' show (also known as my life).
I doubt that it will ever totally go away. I think that it's a natural part of life. But I want it subdued/minimalized/trivialized. I don't need a 'friend' like that anymore.
So what about you? Has fear been a good friend to you? Have you given up that friendship? If so, why? If not, why?
I've looked forward to 40 for a long time. In my mind, it's like a magical age where insecurity and fear will disappear from my life like the sand from the upper half of an hourglass. I know that that may not be true, but 40 holds the promise of something better. It holds the promise of being true to myself in every circumstance. It also holds the promise of really embracing life and all that it has to offer - with nothing holding me back. Except for one thing.
Remember a few entries ago how I stated that I had to let people go? The people that served no purpose or were bringing stress to my life? Remember that? Well, there's one more to let go.
This 'friend' has whispered in my ear that I can't do something. This 'friend' has stopped me from trying new things - telling me that I'll fail if I make the attempt. This 'friend' has been by my side, stopping me from taking the next step. This 'friend' has also fueled my indecisiveness. At this point, I'm ready to let it go. This 'friend' has been fear.
Now, I'm sure lots of us know this 'friend'. It's there, whether we need it or not. It's influential. It's seductive. You can take your life to the next level when you overcome it, or you can hold yourself back when you give in to it. But it's there - for better or for worse. Honestly, it's played quite a role in my life.
But I don't want fear to have such an influence anymore. The fact that I'm turning 40 has something to do with it. But the other fact is - I'm tired of it. I'm tired of how such a little word can have such a great impact. I'm tired of it being in my way. I'm tired of it jumping in when it's not wanted. I'm tired of it making guest appearances on the 'Virginia Dreamgirl' show (also known as my life).
I doubt that it will ever totally go away. I think that it's a natural part of life. But I want it subdued/minimalized/trivialized. I don't need a 'friend' like that anymore.
So what about you? Has fear been a good friend to you? Have you given up that friendship? If so, why? If not, why?
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Jump
A few years ago, I went skydiving. It was a lot of fun. The best moment was jumping out of the plane. It was scary, yet freeing. I'd like to do that again someday.
Jumping out of the plane reminds me of life. Sometimes you have to hop into the unknown with your parachute of dedication and determination. And let the sky be your limit.
Is there something special that you want to do? Is there something stopping you from your pursuit? Are you gonna jump into the realm of endless possibilities?
Jumping out of the plane reminds me of life. Sometimes you have to hop into the unknown with your parachute of dedication and determination. And let the sky be your limit.
Is there something special that you want to do? Is there something stopping you from your pursuit? Are you gonna jump into the realm of endless possibilities?
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Start Spreadin' Tha News
First off, let me say that it pained me to title a post with missing letters. It's the wordsmith/editor in me that usually prevents this. But I had to do it! Why? Because I'm five days away from the big 4-0! Yes, on Dec 7th I will join another age group. I'm overjoyed! And...
I'm going to New York! (Just for the day). One of my good friends is going to ride up from MD and meet me there. I'm going to attend a photography workshop hosted by a celebrity photographer, then said friend and I are going to eat some 'oh so rich and fattening' sage butter ravioli at the Dream Hotel restaurant, and then we're going to see Cirque Du Soleil on Broadway. OOOOOOOHHHHH - I can't contain my excitement! Just to give you an idea of my enthusiasm:
So the title of this post is a tribute to Frank Sinatra's song about New York.
I'm going to New York! (Just for the day). One of my good friends is going to ride up from MD and meet me there. I'm going to attend a photography workshop hosted by a celebrity photographer, then said friend and I are going to eat some 'oh so rich and fattening' sage butter ravioli at the Dream Hotel restaurant, and then we're going to see Cirque Du Soleil on Broadway. OOOOOOOHHHHH - I can't contain my excitement! Just to give you an idea of my enthusiasm:
- I did a 'going to New York' dance in Target last night when I called my mom to tell her where I was going.
- I did the Rockettes line-kick in my bathroom as I sang 'New York, New York'.
- I did a 'Hoe Down/Do Si Do You Partner' dance while on the phone with said friend.
- I'm sure I'll do another dance before I go to sleep. Any suggestions will be appreciated.
So the title of this post is a tribute to Frank Sinatra's song about New York.
Start spreadin' tha news,
I'm leaving today,
I want to be a part of it -
New York, New York.
He sang about it and loved it. I went there to ring in 2008, and now I'm going there again this year to celebrate the Big 4-0. Love it!!!!!!
It's almost like my birthday will be Christmas. The Santa will be the celebrity photographer, the sleigh/reindeer will be the Amtrak train/bus, and the presents will be the workshop, ravioli, and Cirque Du Soleil. Ain't life grand!!
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